When you forget to remember

It’s all downhill from here

passion’s fading

it gets easier

you start to hear the birds chirp again

in the mornings

when you woke up in the smell of brewed coffee

in the nights when you’re okay

watching a movie by yourself

when you’re not with him

and not lonely at the same time

when you’re eating homecooked dinner

and you forget to remember him

 

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Less coffee and more milk

more of me and less of you

less coffee and more milk

a glowing skin and healed scars

a pruned rose

an orchestra of emotions

beautiful, sad, tragic,

a little less toxic me

Bookworm

Remember when he held your hands.

Remember the days you would miss him but he would be back.

It’s Sunday evening and you’re sitting outside,

the porch light in a yellow mood.

the wind is cold,

your breath is lonely.

Remember when he used to offer you his coat.

Remember when he took you to the beach one time.

Now another week has gone by.

You sit under the porch light again,

this time reading a book.

You can still hear him say

“read this, this one’s really good”

Yes, you take refuge in books.

A gust of wind blows and you just let it turn the pages,

as you were deep in thought…

Remember when you went out for movies,

Remember when you biked down 5th avenue,

going faster and faster,

like you never had to worry about falling down.

Remember?

You always forget why you don’t

have to remember these things anymore.

This is letting you go

If you’re not happy

if I’m not enough

if we’ve outgrown our love

if you’re not my forever

if I’ve stolen too much of your sleep



and if it’s all of the above

I’ll not beg you to fight for us

oh if you could unbreak

because this is how

I still love you so dear

 just as in the very beginning

but so much more

so this is letting you go

Blurring of the dichotomy between dreams and reality

You are in the line
between reality and dreams
on whether we turn into an “us”
or you remain being
my dream
or a shattered dream

Sometimes silence attacks me
so violently at night
I’d sleep with earphones plugged in my ears
fall asleep with the sound of a classical song
it mimics the peace in my mind
before your silence started to haunt me

Sometimes in the day
it’s okay to shut off the world
and go back to bed
maybe it was just a dream
but it felt real
I know this pain is real

Before dawn

 

Waking up beside her ghosts as the mind’s eye dwells

Unsafe in the tawny silence of the morning gray

The past deadly echoes like faint phantom bells

There’re no tides to turn leaving questions at bay

 

When thus alone the memories thwack

The air is still and the road is lonely

For none else in his abode to come back

To work he walks alone in dilly-dally

 

Ardour minutes lay in its approaching

The sky an azure with pearly whites

He keeps walking as daylight is in its coming

At the end of the tunnel he’ll catch the morning lights