In between the door

Right there, when he turned,

something was written in the air between me and him,

memories flashed in black and white

and a little part of it already blurred

These half blur yet vivid memories

they slam the door while my heart is in between

crushing it half on his side half on mine

Half wanting to leave these memories

stacked in a room and locked behind my head

The remaining half wanting to find the keys

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Someone that won’t let the air burn you down

I guess we never realize how toxic someone is until we breathe fresher air. So to you, deary, I hope you find the oxygen to your hydrogen gas. Someone fluid like water that looks through your cracks and sees what you have inside like water seeping through a broken vase. I hope you find that someone to have a strong bond with. A bond that can return to its old fluid state even after turning into ice in your on and off relationship. And when you meet that person, I hope you meet the chemistry as well. S/he’ll be the postive to your negatives and you’ll be the positive to his negatives. As if soulmates are born with polarities made for each other.

Perhaps

Perhaps when my walls came down, your feelings went along with it.
Perhaps as I empty another bottle of wine, I come to see how your words were too.
I heard a bird sing when I woke up this morning and I remembered how different it was to be so inspired.
Then I come across our old song and realize how people never put the song on their car or on the radio anymore.
Perhaps as the trends change, people too.

To the love I lost but the me I gained back

In the end
I was only a person
caught up in an idea
that I could still make it work
I was still fighting
but you were already packing up

I was foolish enough to be lost
in a maze I was searching for a way out
out of love
I never found my way out
I learned to settle at a dead end
Of shivering nights and silent days

There was no love left but mine
and I had to give it to myself
because I needed love
and there was no one
Everyday I woke in that dead end
and I was alone

I learned to settle in that dead end
because I was too exhausted to find my way out
I was too lost to find my way out
I did not have to exhaust myself
in finding a way out
That was when it stopped being a maze

I made a home in that dead end
I found a home
a new start by the end of us
I wasn’t lost in a maze
It may have been a strange place without you
But it was the me I gained back

Moonstruck

I find myself gazing up at the stars at night until I get lost in trance.
I would sit on my bed beside the bedroom window, hugging my pillow and looking out at the gloomy sky.
I see the stars twinkle like they are talking to each other, or transmitting messages.
I wonder if one is for me and I just do not know.
Covered in a black blanket and hidden under a moonlit sky, the whole world seems so vast.
And as the city lights blink from the distance I feel the cool night air kiss my hair.
… and I wonder if you’re out there
looking up at the stars too, thinking the same thoughts, and getting lost in the exact same reverie.