April

When I open my eyes

there are no more arms enveloping me.

There is no more additional body warmth.

Now it just feels colder outside.

And more than anything, inside.

I see the empty space beside me.

She is the first thing I think about.

There are so much traces of her in my everyday.

The food I eat, the music I hear, the memories I remember.

I should’ve known it was a lie to believe

that she would leave.

Not different from all the other lies.

I see her in my everyday.

It almost feels like a lie that she left.

Have you heard the sound of love?

Have you heard the sound of love?

No,

it isn’t the sound of bells or chimes

that you suddenly hear.

I thought it would be like

hearing my favorite song

in my head,

first thing when I wake up.

And I would first check my phone

if he texted.

I have been waiting

for so long

to hear the sound of love

what’s it like…

They say you’ll know

when you finally hear it

Is it the sound of strings

while I play the harp with passion

and so much patience and dedication?

Maybe it’s a sweet yes

when you’ve asked her out

on your first date.

Maybe it’s an apology

when he finally comes back

when you thought he wouldn’t.

Maybe it’s a confession

when somebody tells you

the feelings are mutual.

Or maybe I’d never hear it

until the first cry that rings

through the whole labor room

after giving birth.

One day I realized,

I have been hearing the sound of love all along.

But it isn’t like any of that,

after all,

love works in unexpected ways.

It wasn’t like hearing bells or my favorite song,

It wasn’t like music at all.

It was his voice

first thing in the morning

last thing before falling asleep.

Yesterday and tomorrow

is how I knew

it was love.

It was finally love.

The saddest music you gave me

I heard your silence

like bittersweet melodies in my head

a soundless humming in my heart

and I could almost

feel your hands on mine

like where it was before

 

My hands shiver from their void

longing for the slightest bit of caress from your skin

wafting through its loneliness

catching only dry air in between the spaces of my fingers

 

Time has stolen our promises

regrets echo in the whispers of the chilly wind

hissing by my side

as I bury uncertainties in misery

as I carry on in the loudest silence I have ever heard

with the saddest music you gave me