And so I write.

I can tell you of a time he asks you to guess something and you say like “bananas!” and you both keep on laughing in your class your Professor will have to scold you.

I’ll tell you his dimples show when he smiles, his curls don’t uncurl with the wind, his eyes glow when he sees you, and his voice has a hint of perfection. This is the guy you met. This is the guy you know.

I can tell you that you will go on road trips, eat in fast food chains and Chinese restaurants, enjoy Korean food, and watch western drama. You’ll have the whole world to yourselves. I’ll tell you then that you can ace your classes and inspire each other. As if you are almost invincible.

I’ll tell you, to be fair, I’ll tell you what people don’t want to tell you. You can lose in a battle against time. You can grow together yet change differently. When the day comes, stupidity hits when people insist to put a question mark where there is already a period. Perhaps of all the things we get right, we hurt all the more for a share of wrong. Like a 59/60 feeling in a test, a tinge of regret. He’s the missing 1.

Now I’ll warn you about the after effects. You feel the hurt once and the pain comes back again. Like an earthquake with the aftershocks, and you feel damaged and hurt in more parts of you. There is no Physics in love when it says the distance an object goes up is the distance it travels going down yet it seems people crash further when they fall. Isn’t love illogical?

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It takes some physics to fall out of love

It takes some physics to fall out of love
something more logical to know the truth
that when I became too attracted to you
you became the center of my planet

a gravity holding everything together
and if I taught it through
it was the same gravity that stopped me from soaring
but to me you were so much more than that

you weren’t just gravity itself
you were the planet
my home
you were where I belonged

and I was water
your world would be without life
you needed me too
you were the planet and I was water

we belonged together
even if I kept trying to escape I’d fall for you again
so until I am strong enough to break out of this
made up universe of ours

I may never be able to convince myself
not enough to think
you are not my world
we are just people

that I am not like water
you needed me less than I think
the slightest of sparks that ignited the big bang
didn’t create a separate universe for us

Lost, not found

that bouquet of roses in the garbage

have you seen the girl crying at the corner of her bed

Is she sleeping with her ex

has she gotten that text

she had been waiting for

the last two weeks

It’s past ten

Is she sleepy

Is she still waiting

what does she want

a call

a text

an apology

I’ll give it to her

have you seen her

confused

in love

longing

I’ve been looking

everywhere

to find her

hug her

whisper empty promises

in the nights

her soft caress

innocent and pure

her voice

my cold heart

craves for the warmth

of her flawless skin

I’ll give her all of my cold heart

and when I do

I need her to believe

to believe in me once again

She is somewhere

hiding in the corner

crying

breaking

used

 I want her mine

and I want more than her

She is probably wondering who I  really am

I’m the guy she broke herself for

she probably forgot me

she had probably

already moved on

or maybe

maybe she doesn’t even

know me

maybe she is yet to meet me

maybe I left her without knowing

what I had to lose

maybe she’s waiting for me

I still want more of her

I’m coming back for her

She is hollow inside

she is wondering who emptied her heart

who took it with him

trapped it in a bottle with the others

have you seen her

If you see her

please tell her

she needs a little light

tell her it was me

-Mr. wrong

 

Walls and pavements

It scares me

to have that someone who can look at you as if you could not be more complex than a jigsaw puzzle.

That someone

Who is able to turn the little things you have told into pictures and puzzle pieces. That someone who tries to figure you out. Right when you taught things were hard, it scares me to have that one person unexpectedly come and laymanize things for you.

That someone who can view you as a simplified equation even after you have painted yourself with strong opinions just to cover your lack of factual knowledge. That someone who sees your lapses, knows that you are an erroneous problem but chooses not to count you as an invalid question. That someone who instead looks at you quizzically and corrects the wrong parts so you could finally be solved.

It scares me. It does. To have that someone who got you “all figured out”.