To the love I lost but the me I gained back

In the end
I was only a person
caught up in an idea
that I could still make it work
I was still fighting
but you were already packing up

I was foolish enough to be lost
in a maze I was searching for a way out
out of love
I never found my way out
I learned to settle at a dead end
Of shivering nights and silent days

There was no love left but mine
and I had to give it to myself
because I needed love
and there was no one
Everyday I woke in that dead end
and I was alone

I learned to settle in that dead end
because I was too exhausted to find my way out
I was too lost to find my way out
I did not have to exhaust myself
in finding a way out
That was when it stopped being a maze

I made a home in that dead end
I found a home
a new start by the end of us
I wasn’t lost in a maze
It may have been a strange place without you
But it was the me I gained back

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Bookworm

Remember when he held your hands.

Remember the days you would miss him but he would be back.

It’s Sunday evening and you’re sitting outside,

the porch light in a yellow mood.

the wind is cold,

your breath is lonely.

Remember when he used to offer you his coat.

Remember when he took you to the beach one time.

Now another week has gone by.

You sit under the porch light again,

this time reading a book.

You can still hear him say

“read this, this one’s really good”

Yes, you take refuge in books.

A gust of wind blows and you just let it turn the pages,

as you were deep in thought…

Remember when you went out for movies,

Remember when you biked down 5th avenue,

going faster and faster,

like you never had to worry about falling down.

Remember?

You always forget why you don’t

have to remember these things anymore.

Broken record

In the beggining was a beautiful lyricless song
and a tone of voice that hummed along
bringing the sweet lull of a loftier melody
turning notes into emotions
spinning it in circles

Like a broken record
repeatedly skipping back a moment in whats being played
unable to move on to the next verse
to finally finish the song this little heart sings
In the beggining was a beautiful lyricless song

Blurring of the dichotomy between dreams and reality

You are in the line
between reality and dreams
on whether we turn into an “us”
or you remain being
my dream
or a shattered dream

Sometimes silence attacks me
so violently at night
I’d sleep with earphones plugged in my ears
fall asleep with the sound of a classical song
it mimics the peace in my mind
before your silence started to haunt me

Sometimes in the day
it’s okay to shut off the world
and go back to bed
maybe it was just a dream
but it felt real
I know this pain is real