The memory of her,
in its raw form,
messes up my everyday mentality.
The memory of her,
in its raw form,
messes up my everyday mentality.
In the end
I was only a person
caught up in an idea
that I could still make it work
I was still fighting
but you were already packing up
I was foolish enough to be lost
in a maze I was searching for a way out
out of love
I never found my way out
I learned to settle at a dead end
Of shivering nights and silent days
There was no love left but mine
and I had to give it to myself
because I needed love
and there was no one
Everyday I woke in that dead end
and I was alone
I learned to settle in that dead end
because I was too exhausted to find my way out
I was too lost to find my way out
I did not have to exhaust myself
in finding a way out
That was when it stopped being a maze
I made a home in that dead end
I found a home
a new start by the end of us
I wasn’t lost in a maze
It may have been a strange place without you
But it was the me I gained back
It’s all downhill from here
passion’s fading
it gets easier
you start to hear the birds chirp again
in the mornings
when you woke up in the smell of brewed coffee
in the nights when you’re okay
watching a movie by yourself
when you’re not with him
and not lonely at the same time
when you’re eating homecooked dinner
and you forget to remember him
you weren’t thought to grieve
you cannot make heroes out of people
but you cannot mend yourself either
when you’re too broken
too torn apart
you cannot
who will fix you then?
who will be there for you then?
when it’s been weeks since you had a glimpse of sunshine
when it’s been raining all week
you’re drowning in your own tears
this is what you do
listen carefully
you cannot make heroes out of people
and you’re too broken to fix yourself
you let the time past
you carry on broken
until broken is normal
one day you’re going to meet someone
whose a little too broken to love you
but you’re going to love
yes, you cannot make heroes out of people
but love makes the human of us
maybe not heroes with superpowers
but a man who can still love when broken
you are like a broken vase
there is art in your cracks
you are beautiful
we are all broken
you too will remain broken
but you will continue to love
you are going to love
and will find love
from someone who gives a value
in the art of a broken vase
more of me and less of you
less coffee and more milk
a glowing skin and healed scars
a pruned rose
an orchestra of emotions
beautiful, sad, tragic,
a little less toxic me
Remember when he held your hands.
Remember the days you would miss him but he would be back.
It’s Sunday evening and you’re sitting outside,
the porch light in a yellow mood.
the wind is cold,
your breath is lonely.
Remember when he used to offer you his coat.
Remember when he took you to the beach one time.
Now another week has gone by.
You sit under the porch light again,
this time reading a book.
You can still hear him say
“read this, this one’s really good”
Yes, you take refuge in books.
A gust of wind blows and you just let it turn the pages,
as you were deep in thought…
Remember when you went out for movies,
Remember when you biked down 5th avenue,
going faster and faster,
like you never had to worry about falling down.
Remember?
You always forget why you don’t
have to remember these things anymore.
In the beggining was a beautiful lyricless song
and a tone of voice that hummed along
bringing the sweet lull of a loftier melody
turning notes into emotions
spinning it in circles
Like a broken record
repeatedly skipping back a moment in whats being played
unable to move on to the next verse
to finally finish the song this little heart sings
In the beggining was a beautiful lyricless song
If you’re not happy
if I’m not enough
if we’ve outgrown our love
if you’re not my forever
if I’ve stolen too much of your sleep
and if it’s all of the above
I’ll not beg you to fight for us
oh if you could unbreak
because this is how
I still love you so dear
just as in the very beginning
but so much more
so this is letting you go
If we were having coffee
I’d remember every detail in your smile
the curve at the edges of your lips
the faded light in your eyes
and I could finally bid my goodbye
to what I thought endless
So I can finally turn around and walk away
You are in the line
between reality and dreams
on whether we turn into an “us”
or you remain being
my dream
or a shattered dream
Sometimes silence attacks me
so violently at night
I’d sleep with earphones plugged in my ears
fall asleep with the sound of a classical song
it mimics the peace in my mind
before your silence started to haunt me
Sometimes in the day
it’s okay to shut off the world
and go back to bed
maybe it was just a dream
but it felt real
I know this pain is real