April

When I open my eyes

there are no more arms enveloping me.

There is no more additional body warmth.

Now it just feels colder outside.

And more than anything, inside.

I see the empty space beside me.

She is the first thing I think about.

There are so much traces of her in my everyday.

The food I eat, the music I hear, the memories I remember.

I should’ve known it was a lie to believe

that she would leave.

Not different from all the other lies.

I see her in my everyday.

It almost feels like a lie that she left.

From me to you, with love.

I knew I couldn’t watch you go when my tears decided to blur the sight of you leaving. I didn’t place my heart on your door so you could step on it on your way out. People learn. I have tied my emotions in ribbons so the next time I give my heart to someone, he’ll only ever have it when he decides to tear apart my gift-wrapped walls.

Oil on canvas
Artwork by Roy Rosatase

It takes some physics to fall out of love

It takes some physics to fall out of love
something more logical to know the truth
that when I became too attracted to you
you became the center of my planet

a gravity holding everything together
and if I taught it through
it was the same gravity that stopped me from soaring
but to me you were so much more than that

you weren’t just gravity itself
you were the planet
my home
you were where I belonged

and I was water
your world would be without life
you needed me too
you were the planet and I was water

we belonged together
even if I kept trying to escape I’d fall for you again
so until I am strong enough to break out of this
made up universe of ours

I may never be able to convince myself
not enough to think
you are not my world
we are just people

that I am not like water
you needed me less than I think
the slightest of sparks that ignited the big bang
didn’t create a separate universe for us

Lost, not found

that bouquet of roses in the garbage

have you seen the girl crying at the corner of her bed

Is she sleeping with her ex

has she gotten that text

she had been waiting for

the last two weeks

It’s past ten

Is she sleepy

Is she still waiting

what does she want

a call

a text

an apology

I’ll give it to her

have you seen her

confused

in love

longing

I’ve been looking

everywhere

to find her

hug her

whisper empty promises

in the nights

her soft caress

innocent and pure

her voice

my cold heart

craves for the warmth

of her flawless skin

I’ll give her all of my cold heart

and when I do

I need her to believe

to believe in me once again

She is somewhere

hiding in the corner

crying

breaking

used

 I want her mine

and I want more than her

She is probably wondering who I  really am

I’m the guy she broke herself for

she probably forgot me

she had probably

already moved on

or maybe

maybe she doesn’t even

know me

maybe she is yet to meet me

maybe I left her without knowing

what I had to lose

maybe she’s waiting for me

I still want more of her

I’m coming back for her

She is hollow inside

she is wondering who emptied her heart

who took it with him

trapped it in a bottle with the others

have you seen her

If you see her

please tell her

she needs a little light

tell her it was me

-Mr. wrong

 

Have you heard the sound of love?

Have you heard the sound of love?

No,

it isn’t the sound of bells or chimes

that you suddenly hear.

I thought it would be like

hearing my favorite song

in my head,

first thing when I wake up.

And I would first check my phone

if he texted.

I have been waiting

for so long

to hear the sound of love

what’s it like…

They say you’ll know

when you finally hear it

Is it the sound of strings

while I play the harp with passion

and so much patience and dedication?

Maybe it’s a sweet yes

when you’ve asked her out

on your first date.

Maybe it’s an apology

when he finally comes back

when you thought he wouldn’t.

Maybe it’s a confession

when somebody tells you

the feelings are mutual.

Or maybe I’d never hear it

until the first cry that rings

through the whole labor room

after giving birth.

One day I realized,

I have been hearing the sound of love all along.

But it isn’t like any of that,

after all,

love works in unexpected ways.

It wasn’t like hearing bells or my favorite song,

It wasn’t like music at all.

It was his voice

first thing in the morning

last thing before falling asleep.

Yesterday and tomorrow

is how I knew

it was love.

It was finally love.

Spread the love

you weren’t thought to grieve

you cannot make heroes out of people

but you cannot mend yourself either

when you’re too broken

too torn apart

you cannot

who will fix you then?

who will be there for you then?

when it’s been weeks since you had a glimpse of sunshine

when it’s been raining all week

you’re drowning in your own tears

this is what you do

listen carefully

you cannot make heroes out of people

and you’re too broken to fix yourself

you let the time past

you carry on broken

until broken is normal

one day you’re going to meet someone

whose a little too broken to love you

but you’re going to love

yes, you cannot make heroes out of people

but love makes the human of us

maybe not heroes with superpowers

but a man who can still love when broken

you are like a broken vase

there is art in your cracks

you are beautiful

we are all broken

you too will remain broken

but you will continue to love

you are going to love

and will find love

from someone who gives a value

in the art of a broken vase

Bookworm

Remember when he held your hands.

Remember the days you would miss him but he would be back.

It’s Sunday evening and you’re sitting outside,

the porch light in a yellow mood.

the wind is cold,

your breath is lonely.

Remember when he used to offer you his coat.

Remember when he took you to the beach one time.

Now another week has gone by.

You sit under the porch light again,

this time reading a book.

You can still hear him say

“read this, this one’s really good”

Yes, you take refuge in books.

A gust of wind blows and you just let it turn the pages,

as you were deep in thought…

Remember when you went out for movies,

Remember when you biked down 5th avenue,

going faster and faster,

like you never had to worry about falling down.

Remember?

You always forget why you don’t

have to remember these things anymore.